No go

I have recently had a birthday.  Here are a couple of (poor quality) photos of presents from sis no 2 and my mate T.  Both were gift wrapped.

I bet you envy me having such caring friends and relations don't you?  

Yep it's fair to say I've been a bit bunged up of late.  Probably due to the liquid morphine I take to help suppress my cough.  In a vague and unsuccessful nod at being modern I bought some looser jeans a few months ago, a sort of cowardly 'boyfriend' fit.  I believe this was in vogue about five years ago, so pretty hip and happening by my standards.  Anyway these looser fit jeans have now become my constipation trousers.  I recommend them.  No fashionista would be without a pair.  Nice and roomy if you catch my drift.

So I don't bother blogging for ages and then I give you an opening paragraph on constipation.  Have you missed me?

I had results from a CT scan a few weeks ago.  I was very surprised and very pleased to learn that there was no change in the disease.  I really was staggered as the breathlessness on any form of exertion (eg brushing my teeth) had me convinced that the cancer in my lungs had been growing apace.  The medical bods then tried me on antibiotics as some inflammation in my lungs was evident but they don't appear to have done anything.  I'm now on a trial week of steroids to see if they help.  They don't seem to have done anything for my breathlessness but I do have a bit more energy thank goodness.  The fatigue has been pretty crushing at times.  To be honest the fatigue has been one of the main reasons I haven't blogged recently.  That and spending all my time in the loo (with scant reward for my efforts).

Oh I lie.  I did get a reward for all my lavatorial efforts.  A fractured rib.  I have pathetic bone density and the strain proved too much.  It's on the mend now but for a couple of days it was ouchy to say the least.

So there you have it, my past few weeks.  Very little gadding about to tell you about.  Although I did go to a vintage wedding.  Look we got dressed up

Somehow the other-half managed to get his (rented) hat coated in horse radish sauce.  There really is no end to his talents.  The hire company haven't said anything ... yet.

I have a whole blissful week ahead of me with no medical appointments.  Hallelujah.  But next week sees another CT scan and I'm afraid I'm not optimistic about the results I'll be getting the week after that.  But whatever I'll keep you informed, whether you like it or not. 

Oh and while I'm being a misog, I'm pretty sure I'm losing my hair again (for the third time) even though it isn't a listed side effect of my current trial chemo.  Arse biscuits!

Ta-ra for now.


 

Waiting game

Picture from here

It's anxious waiting time at Discombobulated Towers.  I've had some of the tests at The Christie to see if I'll be able to get on to a clinical trial and so far, so good. However, I will be going back twice next week for three more tests, so it's not over yet by a long chalk.  

In the event of all being well, my first dose of the trial chemo is scheduled for 29th June, and frankly it can't come a moment too soon.  I've not had any treatment at all for about three weeks now (this is a requirement for getting on the trial) and the deterioration in my health has been pretty marked.  Added to the worsening coughing and breathlessness are pains in my back and the type of fatigue that has me wondering, in my darker moments, how I'm going to cope with the trips to Manchester or even if I'm going to be well enough to start chemo.  There is a temptation to go back to my local hospital and say give me some chemo NOW!  However, this isn't a wise option.  The local oncologist has told me that neither of my two remaining chemo options are likely to be of much benefit to me (in fact the last option has only an 8-10% chance of working).  So I'm hanging on, waiting and hoping for the clinical trial at The Christie.

I do have lighter moments though.  These include:

• Seeing the Eddie Redmayne lookalike onc once more at the Christie and being reassured by how positive he is about the trial
• Spending time with sisters 1, 2 and 3.  *Highlights include; discovering sis no 1 patrolling the garden at dusk, killing slugs while chanting 'double, double, toil and trouble'; sis no 2 and I buying identical handbags and walking around the local open gardens event like two Fashion Girls; introducing sis no 3 to The Sewing Bee and hearing her talk enthusiastically about pvc.
• Watching fluffy TV, like Love, Nina
• Watching bonkers TV, like Versailles 
• Getting Germany in the other-half's family Euro 2016 sweep stake.  Rest assured, I will not let any winnings change me.

*  I have absolutely no confidence in my ability to use semi-colons correctly.  I usually avoid them but today decided to throw caution to the wind (that's the kind of wild devil-may-care person I am).  Feel free to take me to task if I have played fast and loose with this punctuation mine-field.

Hot cockles!

Well my cockles have been well and truly warmed.  The fund raising barn dance (raising money for Breast Cancer Now and Compton Hospice) took place last night, and what a successful evening it was on all fronts!

To start off here's a couple of photos of the two of the cuter attendees who (like many others) had come dressed up to the nines.  Howdy pardners.

So many people made so much effort to ensure the evening was a success that it's hard to know where to start but, at the risk of this turning into a blub-fest worthy of an Oscar winner, here goes:

First and foremost huge thanks to Ian and Amy (the other-half's nephew and his lovely wife) who came up with the idea of the event in the first place and then worked tirelessly to make it a success.  The mere thought of the amount of hard graft they took on makes me want to have a lie down in darkened room.  And they did all this in the same year that they organised their house move from one area of the country to another, their overseas wedding and also their UK wedding celebrations.  Some people are just gluttons for punishment!

Also, thanks to more relations, namely Lee, Lydia, Sam and Gail who helped organise, obtained fantastic raffle prizes and sold heaps of tickets.

Lip-smacking thanks to all the cake makers (cakes were also sold on the night to raise dosh).  There were some fantastic and tasty creations, including industrial quantities of secret-recipe muffins from sis no 1 and cakes bearing the logos of the charities made by the lovely Carmel.  Even the other-half put his chef's hat on:

Big cheers too for the raffle prizes, either supplied by friends and family or obtained by them by going to their employers and local businesses.  Big thanks in particular go to the kind generosity of Virgin Trains.

Thanks to all those who helped set up on the evening, organising things like a well-oiled machine in a very limited time, while I faffed around like a particulary ineffective fart in a thunderstorm.

Thanks too to those who couldn't make it but still gave donations, which were very much appreciated.

And of course the evening would have been nothing without the support of all those who came along.  We had a really good crowd who completely entered into the spirit of things, the dance floor was full all evening from start to finish.

One of the main reasons the dance floor was so busy was the all round excellence of the band, the Slippery Hill Boys and their caller.  I really can't praise them highly enough.  Quite simply they were bloody brilliant and I wouldn't hesitate to recommend them to anyone wanting a hoe-down to remember!  Here they are setting up

And here's the crowd thanking them at the end of the night

So the nitty-gritty.  As the result of everyone's generosity £1400  was raised for the two charities.  I am totally chuffed.  So before I start blubbing and hugging everyone in sight I'll sign off for now with more photos from the night.  Yee-haw! 

Dangerous Del

Today I have been wildly reckless.  I have changed the quilt on my bed from winter to summer mode.  So now I'll be snoozing under 9 togs instead of the usual 15.  I know, CRAZY (given the erratic summer we're having here in England), but that's the way I roll.

I've been doing quite a lot of snoozing lately, either in bed or on the sofa.  I think it's due to the current chemo but as side effects go it could be so much worse, so I will cease my whinging here.

Before I move on from the subject of cancer I just thought I'd mention that Breakthrough Breast Cancer (one of the charities we will be raising funds for at the forthcoming barn dance) has merged with Breast Cancer Campaign to form Breast Cancer Now, the largest breast cancer charity in the UK.  The new website is still nauseatingly pink (don't start me on the whole pink thing) but other than that I'm impressed.  They seem to be taking metastatic breast cancer seriously and their new TV advert is, I think, spot on.  You can view it here.

I'm still obsessed by my tiny but, I think, lovely garden.  Here's the latest - front and back

This is what happens if you scatter poppy seeds with wild abandon (I will be starting an opium farm shortly)

Not content with sitting in my own garden I recently went on a tour of neighbourhood plots as part of the open gardens scheme.  It was a lovely sunny afternoon and at one point we were sat in someone's garden listening to a string quartet while drinking tea and scoffing cake.  It doesn't get much better than that.

Here are some edited highlights (and yes, I was very, very, jealous)

Herbaceous borders to kill for

Someone else with a poppy fetish

Swoon fest

 

shed envy

and scarecrows with attitude

And lest you think I have gone completely peculiar over plants, don't worry my number one concern remains mog-based.  I leave you with pictures of the cats I came across during my garden tour (all in all a blissful afternoon).

A Cyril look-a-like (apart from the full set of back legs)

Hello handsome

This one, Celeste, was in disgrace for bird murder (in full view of guests)

 

 

 

Oh yes, he knew he was beautiful

Yee-haw

Anyone want to help raise money for Breakthrough Breast Cancer and Compton Hospice?  Anyone want to have a good laugh?  Anyone at a loose end on the evening of Saturday 27^th June 2015? 

Then mosey on down to Codsall Village Hall (Staffordshire) for a hoe-down (that’s a barn dance, not an evening of weeding you knuckle heads).  

The event starts at 8pm and tickets are £10 each (under 14s free).  All profits will go to the charities mentioned above.  You’ll need to bring your own drink and nibbles but there will be cake (food of the gods) and music by the amazing Slippery Hill Boys.  

We’ve also got some rattling good raffle prizes including

• 2 adult first class day train tickets
• A photo shoot with CD of 40 pictures
• M & S vouchers (two lots worth fifty quid each)
• A family swim session
• Bottles of bubbly

If you’re interested contact me or Nev for tickets.  If you don’t have my contact details just leave a comment and I’ll get back to you.

I’d also like to say a big thank you to a couple of the other-half’s nephews who have been working their socks off to make this event a success.  On the evening I’ll try to lay off the booze otherwise I’ll be telling them that I love them all night, which would be icky for everyone.

Anyway come on, don’t miss out on all the hot hillbilly action (or something like that) and come to Codsall on Saturday 27^th June 2015 (don’t forget to contact me for tickets first), oh and feel free to spread the word.

Be there or be square.

Relief and shame

I got my latest scan results yesterday and, considering what I was half-expecting, they were a mighty relief.  

The scan of my head revealed nothing.  Oh shut up.  I do have a brain in there but, hurrah, there was no sign of cancer.  My bones although showing a couple of iffy bits on my ribs (which have been there for at least two years) are OK, in fact the iffy bits have improved so the oncologist still doesn't reckon it's cancer.  My liver (cancer detected there last year) has improved and my lungs (which have had cancer ever since I was first diagnosed just over three years ago) are stable.  The onc reckons my dizziness is due to low blood pressure and my back ache to old age.  Never have I been so happy to have someone tell me I'm an old crock.

This means I carry on with my current chemo, which although causing me fatigue and sometimes an exciting dash in the direction of the bathroom, hasn't caused hair loss or major sickness.

As I was very concerned about the outcome of the latest scans I haven't been planning ahead massively, but that's now changed and already today I've been out and bought some summer clothes and, now I know I'm not going to lose my hair in the near future, have booked a haircut.  My thoughts are now turning towards summer holidays.  Watch out world, I'm on the rampage.

In order to distract me from chewing my non-existent finger nails, the other-half, sis no 3 and I headed out to Cheshire on the day before I got my results to visit Bluebell Cottage Gardens and Nursery.   It was glorious, look

However it's not all joy and bluebells at Discombobulated Towers I'm afraid.  On Wednesday evening Cyril (the three-legged monster cat) caught his first bird.  Thankfully I don't have any pictures as Cyril took his prey next door to give it a good munch there.  He made a quick exit from our garden due to the other-half yelling 'drop it' at him as if he was some kind of obedient dog.  So, I have raised a bully and a murderer.  Where did I go wrong?

Reasons to be grumpy

Scuppered plans

Because of the delights of chemo side-effects my plans for a mega sewing day have been abandoned.  If I tell you that it is 10 steps to my bathroom from my bed and that, in recent days, I've really needed it to be 8 steps I think you'll get my drift.  Further lurid details available on request. Sis no 3 was going to come round and help me attack my dress-making project but that's a real no-go today.  Sigh.  I am hoping, at some stage, to get a bit further than this:

Thunderous Thursday

On Thursday I go to see my oncologist to get the results of my latest scans.  I am not at all confident that the current chemo is working so I'm pretty apprehensive about it, especially as the scans included bone and brain this time.  If chemo hadn't already destroyed my fingernails I'd be biting them to the quick.  I've written about the delights of scanxiety a million times before but, of course, the process doesn't get any easier so I'm going to continue whinging about it.  So there.

Cantankerous cats

Cyril, the three-legged monster cat is continuing his reign of terror in the neighbourhood.  As well as regularly attacking all the local mogs he comes home with his fair share of scratches.  I despair.  Added to all this is the added horror that is Snooky.  Snooky (a black and white cat with the added bonus of four legs) lives down the street.  He was rehoused there by sis no 1 in her capacity as a volunteer at the local cat rescue centre.  She has a lot to answer for as Snooky and Cyril have become arch enemies.  Snooky is just as rufty-tufty as Cyril and neither of them are prepared to admit defeat.  In fact we drove past Snooky the other day.  I actually should say drove round, as he was sitting in the middle of the road refusing to budge an inch.  That cat is a tough cookie.  If the current state of affairs persists, I think Cyril may take a contract out on him. 

Yeah, yeah OK it isn't all doom and gloom, on the plus side

Cantankerous cats go soft

Look what happened yesterday

The three-legged monster cat decided to get all smoochy and we had a major love-in.  I was honoured (and sleepy).

Out and about

I'd be a big fat fibber if I said I felt grotty every day so I've been out and about a bit including a trip back to Wollerton Old Hall.  Even though the gardens aren't at their best yet it's still lovely, look

 
And I leave you with a photo of the loveliest bloom in the garden

Ha, ha, ha.  I am very funny.

PS.  If you haven't had enough of me already my latest post for Vita (online breast cancer magazine) is available here

Hello

I am a sad enough specimen to check, from time to time, the number of people who've looked at this blog and whereabouts in the world they come from.  I'm chuffed but mystified to find that I've been getting a large number of readers from Russia, the Ukraine and Poland.  So the above is my attempt at saying hello to people from those countries.   Rather recklessly I got the translations by googling so if I've made any horrible, offensive mistakes, like Mr Brown in the film ' Paddington' then please accept my apologies.

Since my last post we've had heaps of sunshine in England and, mercifully, I've had several days of feeling well so I've been out and about including to the lovely Berrington Hall where I took these spring time pictures.

It was a beautiful day, especially if we gloss over the fact that the other-half did possibly the loudest belch ever burped in Britain right in the middle of a quiet tea-room.  Oh the shame.

Health wise I've no idea if the current chemo is still working or not.  I have days when I feel fairly grotty but I just don't know if that's due to medication side-effects or the cancer.  I had a bone scan last week as my ribs still give me the occasional twinge and my back has started joining in.  Next week I have a CT scan so, in the middle of May, I'll be seeing the oncologist to find out the latest.  I've been having the occasional dizzy spell.  This could again be a side-effect or possibly low-ish blood pressure but there is also the possibility of spread to the brain.  Metastatic breast cancer can spread anywhere but the most common sites are bones, lungs, liver and brain.  Obviously I'm really hoping I haven't collected the full set but the CT scan next week will also include my head (it's usually just chest and abdomen) so I'll have the answers fairly soon.  I will probably be an utter nightmare to be around come the middle May and the approach of results day - be warned!

In other news having just about recovered from my last foray into sewing (who can forget, even with therapy, the stunning pyjama bottoms I created) I am about to embark on trying to sew a dress.  The pattern describes it as simple but its got a zip and darts and requires something called 'stay stitching' (which I will google later) so wish me luck.  What with scary results and even scarier dress-making in the offing I predict some fraught times at Discombobulated Towers!

The filth and the fury

At the beginning of September I went off to Northumberland for a week long holiday.  Northumberland was gorgeous.  The scenery is fantastic and the weather was glorious.  I'm not sure if I came back with a tan though or if it was actually a layer of dirt, as the holiday cottage we stayed in was beyond filthy.  

Admittedly when I booked the place I could tell from the pictures that it had a certain 1980s look to it (curtains with swags and tails anyone?) but I had expected it to have been cleaned since then.  The yuckiness of the place was apparent as soon as we arrived and much argy bargy, discussions, foot stamping and even tears (tears from the owner not me) ensued.

Ah well.  I've been back for a month or so now and I don't seem to have come down with bubonic plague.  I won't bombard you with pictures of the grottiness of the place but this gives you an idea of the cobwebby horror of it all:

mmm lovely!

 Thankfully the rest of Northumberland was its splendid atmospheric self:

Although if I'm going to be 100% honest I wouldn't mind if I never went back to Alnwick gardens again - talk about bling!

All fur coat and no knickers, in my snooty-for-no-good-reason opinion

On the health front the results of a bone density scan revealed I've got osteoporosis.  This wasn't a huge surprise, but my intolerance to the bone strengthening drug I've been prescribed was.  It made me feel far yuckier than my current chemo.  So after three weeks persevering I've been prescribed something different.  I'm not brave enough to try it yet as it's a chemo week for me and I don't fancy a possible double whammy of vileness. 

After a lovely, lovely summer Autumn has arrived.  This isn't all bad news as I much prefer winter clothes and love being snug.  The love of snugness is probably the result of my mum repeatedly telling me to tuck my vest into my knickers so as not to get a cold on my kidneys. Anyway due to the passing of the years and the eating of many biscuits, this year I had to go up a size when buying woolly tights.  I may now be a medium horizontally but I remain a small vertically - which means when I pull the tights up they come up to my armpits.  Here's to a cosy winter!

Ta dah!

And also wa-hey and any other self-congratulatory noises you can think of.  I have finished my pyjama bottoms.  No self-congratulations on the very poor photograph but I'm sure you get the idea.  Here's another crap photo just to make sure

The process was relatively painless (apart from standing on a pin with bare feet) so Coco Chanel had better watch out.  I'm not sure what will be next but keep your eyes peeled for more creations in the understated and elegant discombobulated style.

Not much in the way of health news.  I had a bone density scan recently but apparently it takes about nine light years for the results to come through.  However it's CT scan time again soon so stand by for the usual tetchy nervousness as I await the results.

In the meantime I've been enjoying the weather and earlier this week went on a jaunt to Leominster with Sisses 1 and 2 and Mr Sis 2 (otherwise known as The Sainted One, for putting up with Sis 2 for umpteen years).  We trawled the antique/secondhand shops and I indulged in my addiction for books, pictures and embroided bits and bobs.  If I acqure any more junk the house will burst.

Yesterday I went for an evening drive across the Long Mynd with the other-half.  The heather was out and all was lovely.  We admired the views

and watched the sunset

athen, predictably enough, we headed for the pub.  Night night.