Scotland (yes again) |
As someone with an incurable illness I have obviously given
thought to all sorts of deep and meaningful matters and, after a short
struggle, have achieved enlightenment. I
have generously decided to share two of my insights with you lesser mortals (if
you are a fellow illness sufferer then do bear with me while I talk to our
benighted chums).
Insight
1
Do not think that, while simmering porridge on the stove,
you have enough time to go into the garden for two bloody nanoseconds to feed
the birds without there being a huge
and Vesuvius-like oatmeal disaster back in the kitchen.
Insight
2
In the event of a huge and Vesuvius-like oatmeal disaster do
not think that it is a good idea to let the spillage cool before trying to
clear it up. It sets like sodding concrete. This is a particular pain if, as in the case
with my stove, the manufacturer’s instructions insist that you clean the hob
with nothing more abrasive than the downy fluff from an Angora rabbit’s armpit.
Which reminds me, I saw a TV quiz programme the other day
and, when asked to name a country being with A, the contestant said ‘Angora’. Honestly,
some people. Actually I only mock the poor woman to make
myself feel better about last Friday.
The other-half and I went along with our pals J and M to a
village quiz. J and M will be moving to
the village in question soon so we were on our best behaviour in order not to
disgrace them before they move in. This
meant the other-half having to concentrate very hard on not falling over and
breaking anything and me trying to remember not to fart loudly in public
(harder than it sounds). Anyway all went
well until the sport round when we scored a big fat zero. As our score was called out the room went
quiet there was a gasp of disbelief at our incredible stupidity and then a
round of applause. No other team managed
to score zero in any of the rounds. Oh
the shame. We did redeem ourselves a bit
in other rounds though. All I can say is
thank goodness for the 80s music questions.
Before I go, just a word of warning. In search of even more all round fantastic-ness I will be observing Lent (which starts on Wednesday) by giving up Fruit Ninja. There may be some tetchiness.
Oh no, it is never EVER safe to turn your back on porridge. It knows when you do.
ReplyDeleteHey at least you got a round of applause and haven't just spent the last few minutes trying to think of a country that begins with A and sounds like Angora. Angola, in case you were wondering.
I did think about giving up sudden blinding rages for Lent, but then I'd have nothing to fill my time with. Tonia
Sounds positive! Just need to kick your lung function problems in the butt, I can imagine that's a real buggeration xx
ReplyDeleteWould inhalated steroids help? I know they are used in some chronic lung conditions Xx
ReplyDelete