Monday, 29 July 2013

Not for those of a nervous disposition

Picture from here

A word of warning, this blog post contains Too Much Information.  Read on at your peril.  However those of you brave enough to face the challenge will be rewarded with cat pictures at the end of the post, and where else on the internet will you get to see pictures of cats?

I really am quite wary about saying this but I am continuing to feel not-too-bad-at-all-thank-you-very-much, and that’s even after my third cycle of the trial chemo which I had last week.  Fingers crossed this continues. I walked into the town centre and back by myself today (a round trip of a couple of miles) something I haven’t felt well enough to do for five months. 

Although I was very pleased to be able to undertake the arduous trek, the trip wasn’t entirely successful as I failed in my quest, which was to buy a sarong.  Silly, silly me.  It’s nearly August so, of course, the shops had all their new autumn stock in.  Great if you wanted a padded jacket or polo-neck jumper but crap if you wanted anything vaguely summery.

At the risk of really tempting fate and the evil cancer goblins I am toying with the idea of going on holiday and have been a reckless little devil and bought a post-mastectomy swim suit designed not to reveal lots of rubbery false boob.  I’ve even ordered a waterproof prosthesis in the unlikely event of me actually getting in the water.  As this will not be used very often (maybe less than once) I have bought the cheapest model on the market – could be a disaster in the making.  At the very least, given my utter uselessness at swimming, I’m hoping it might act as a flotation aid, although seeing as it’s just on the left-hand side I could end up swimming in circles.

The choice of mastectomy swimming costumes is (in my opinion) very 80s.  They all seem to have massively high cut legs (some sort of compensation for the wearers’ lack of bosom perhaps).  I’m not much of a one for tampering with nature and/or pain and/or itchiness and the idea of waxing anything anywhere (much less in the front bottom area) is enough to make me pass out.  However some sort of action will have to be taken as, when I tried the swimsuit on, it looked like Chewbacca was trying to escape.  To make matters worse, when I turned round and looked at my rear view in the mirror instead of seeing my bottom and legs there seemed to have been some sort of explosion in a mattress factory (probably due to my belief that ice cream is a major and vital food group).  Anyway I have solved all my swimsuit problems with the purchase (on-line) of an industrial strength sarong.

If you’ve got this far, well done.  You’ve read all I have to say (today) about false bosoms, hairiness in unmentionable places and out-of-control arses and, although you’re probably a bit green about the gills, you’ve lived to tell the tale.

Now your reward.  I went back to Shropshire Cat Rescue last week and look what I saw, heaven!

Wednesday, 17 July 2013

Help ...

Picture from here

Lor love a duck I’m sweating cobs.  Or, to put it another way, it’s a little bit on the warm side. 

With my special powers (courtesy of Blogger) I’m able to see how many people look at this blog and whereabouts in the world they are.  Don’t worry, I don’t get any further details than that, so sadly I am unable to stalk anyone on an individual basis and turn up on doorsteps demanding sherry and pickled onions.  However it’s very interesting, and also quite thrilling (hello people in Russia), to see where in the world this blog is being read.  I’m sure a few readers (hello Aussies) would scoff at my describing 28oC (or 82oF, hello Americans) as unbearably hot, but for we delicate English people it’s sweltering.  It’s particularly hot, so I’m told, for anyone taking any form of exercise.  So hats off to Julie and Frances who both took part in the Race for Life at the weekend raising money for Cancer Research UK.  I was honoured that both Julie and Frances chose to put my name on their competitors' bibs.  I’m a soft old thing these days so I was really touched by their thoughtfulness.  Here’s a picture of Julie’s back (warning – she’s almost a potty-mouthed as me):

I say a lot of other things to cancer too, but let's not lower the tone

I’m glad to say that not only did they both survive taking part in the event in temperatures pushing 30oC but also managed to complete the course. What a pair of tough cookies!  Thanks also to those who sponsored Julie.  What a bunch of good eggs you are.

Seeing as it’s blazing hot I have taken up the knitting needles once more.  Yes, woolly items are obviously the number one priority in summer.  Anyway I’ve decided that patterns are for wimps and so I am inventing my own thingummy.  I’m choosing to be a bit mysterious about it for now, but if the thingummy turns out to be even vaguely OK I will tell you about it another time.  If not, I may discreetly let the matter slide.

I’m bouncing back nicely after my stay in hospital a couple of weeks ago.  The pain seems to be well under control now (fingers crossed) so I was able to meet up with my sisters (yes they were all in the UK again, couldn’t you hear the shouting?) and some of my cousins too.  It was great to see everyone.

I saw Mr Oily (the oncologist) today and, although there won’t be much to report until I have scans sometime next month, he seemed fairly happy with the way things are going.  He also pointed out that one of the ‘swellings’ I’d been worrying about was, in fact, muscle.  This not only put my mind at rest but also made feel all svelte and athletic, which isn’t bad in anybody’s book.

Did you think I was going to get through a whole post without mentioning Cyril (three-legged monster cat)?  More fool you if you did.  Here’s another picture of him in action, using his carpeted cat tunnel.

See you around

Until next time, stay cool daddios.

Tuesday, 9 July 2013


Since I last posted I’ve had an owie - and that’s putting it mildly. The pain in my side, possibly caused by cancer in the ribs, went ape shit crazy and I went in to orbit. I have never known pain like it (although admittedly I’ve not had children).  On Saturday I was admitted to hospital and, much to my joy, they sorted out decent pain relief.  I was discharged the following day and since then things have been much better.  I have developed side-effects from the chemo, nose bleeds and a need to rush to the loo at short notice (too much info?), but these are as nothing compared to the pain I was experiencing.  Here’s hoping my assortment of pain killers continue to do the trick. 

This weekend, in the blazing heat (yes, summer has finally arrived here in the UK), my friend and fellow curly-head Julie is running in a Race for Life, with all money raised going to Cancer Research.  What’s more she’s going to be running with my name on her back and, race organisers permitting, also a selection of choice swear words.  If anyone has spare cash (unlikely as that is in these straightened times) she can be sponsored by clicking here.

Cyril (the three-legged monster cat) continues to shoot in and out of his cat tunnel at all times of the day and night, coming home covered in dirt.  Here’s a picture of him embarrassing me by lounging around on my next-door neighbour’s garden table.  Kids eh!